Should we talk about… bullying ? A Ms Broccoli’s conversation

It’s time for a new Ms. Broccoli conversation with your children! Today, the conversation theme is bullying. Online, of course, but not just there.

In general, it’s believed that during the course of one’s school years, more than 1 child out of 2 will be the object of bullying or will bully another child. How can I know if my child is being bullied? What do I do if my child is bullied? If he or she bullies or participates in the bullying of another child? How is bullying demonstrated? So many questions we suggest you discuss for 30 minutes with your children. Enjoy!

Content of the article :

1. A discussion guide with your children
2. The golden rules for discussion success
3. Your objectives during the conversation
4. What is bullying?
5. What should be done if my child is the victim of bullying ?
6. What should be done if my child bullies another ?
7. Ms. Broccoli’s selected reading for further subject discussion

And above all don’t forget : Enjoy this pleasant moment of discussion with your children, even if the subject is very serious! 🙂

1- Bullying : a short discussion guide

Remember, this discussion guide is simply…a guide! The goal is not to ask each question or follow a pre-established order! These questions are just a departure point, a pretext to allow you to bring up an important subject, which your child cannot always talk about easily. If you feel that one point in particular deserves more in-depth discussion, take the time to do it.

Introductory questions

(these questions, generic and not pertaining to the subject, are just there to help you begin a conversation! If you are “warmed up”, you may skip this step !…)

  • What is the best thing that happened to you this week ?
  • What cool things happened at school this week ?
  • What do you like most about school ?
  • What’s your favorite memory of vacation ?
  • What would you like to know how to do the most that you don’t know yet ?
  • If you could write a book, what would it be about ?
  • Where would you go if you could travel anywhere in the world? Why?

Questions to approach the subject…

  • What scares you in life ?
  • What is your first memory of school ?
  • What 3 things make someone popular at school ?
  • What makes you suddenly angry ? Why?
  • How can violence be stopped?

Detect if your child has been bullied

  • Do you ever feel alone or left out at school or during activities? If that’s the case : Tell me what happens and what you feel.
  • If you child takes the school bus : How are the bus rides to school ? Tell me what happens on the bus.
  • At what time do you eat at the cafeteria ? Whom do you eat with? How does it go? What do you talk about?
  • What does the word “bullying” mean to you ?
  • Do other children insult you at times ? What do you feel when that happens ? What do you do when that happens? When was the last time? Tell me exactly what happened.
  • Have you ever been afraid of going to school? Why? Have you already tried things so that would change ? What kinds of things? What were the results?
  • Have children already bullied you, pushed you, hit you or anything like that?  If that’s the case : Who took part in this bullying? Why do you think they do that ?

Detect if your child participates in bullying another child

  • Have you insulted someone recently? Do you think it was bullying? Explain to me why?
  • Have you pushed another child ? Can you tell me about it? What did you feel when you did that?
  • Do you and your friends ever leave a child out during activities? Why?
  • Have you ever written bad things about another child on the internet or on an app ? Explain the context to me. What happened afterwards?

If your child is a witness to bullying

  • Have you seen a child being bullied? What happened ? What did you do?
  • Describe what the bullies looked like and what they did. What do you think about it?
  • Have you tried to help someone who was being bullied?
    • If the answer is “Yes” :  What did you do? What happened next ?  What do you think of it ?
    • If the answer is “No”: For what reason? What do you think you should have done? What do you think about it?
  • What would you do tomorrow if you saw another child being bullied ? Why?

Knowledge of good behavior (starting at age 9)

• Would you talk about it with someone else if you were bullied? Why ?
• Would you talk to someone if you saw another child being bullied? Why?
• Do you think you would be “telling” if you told me or a teacher that you saw someone being bullied? Why?
• What do you think could be done at school to stop bullying?
• Does your school do anything particular about bullying? If yes : Can you tell me what actions they take? What do you think about it?
• Let’s talk about what you and your friends can do about bullying.
• What do you think parents could do to stop bullying ?

 
 

4- What is bullying between children?

Bullying between children is an undesirable, aggressive behavior that leads to a shifted balance of power (real or imagined) between children. Bullying behavior is repeated, or has the potential for being repeated over time.

Children who are the victims of bullying, like those who bully other children, are susceptible to developing profound developmental issues with a long-term impact.

This article describes in detail what bullying is between children.

5-What should be done if my child is the victim of bullying?

Don’t panic! This article tells you what to do (and what not to do!) if your child is a victim of bullying.

6- What should be done if my child bullies another child ?

You will find here some very useful websites to learn more about bullying between children:

And to conclude…

30 minutes of (real) conversation with you children each week can make a considerable difference. You can’t find these 30 minutes ? How about starting with 15 minutes, or even 10 minutes just to try? No television, no radio, no telephone or interruption allowed during this precious time. You will be amazed by all that you will discover about your children and the positive impact of these little conversations on your relationship with your children…on the condition that you truly listen to them!

Do you have a conversation idea to suggest to Ms. Broccoli ? A comment about or addition to this article?  A personal experience that you would like to share ? Contact Ms. Broccoli at broccoli@edupad.com.

Regarding Ms. Broccoli’s discussions

7- Ms. Broccoli’s selected reading for further discussion on the subject.

Let’s be calm! This article tells you what to do (and what not to do!) if your child bullies another child.